I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
