I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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