I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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