Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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