the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize