I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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