kristin has been a bad kristin
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
