so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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