if you like me you must not know who I am
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
