The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
