She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize