i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize