Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
