my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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