thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
