You're my little dorito
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
