very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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