woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
