So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
