Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
