I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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