PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize