did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
