Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
