it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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