She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
