u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
