is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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