the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think my mom watched the whole time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
