and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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