he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
