I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
