can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
