How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
