no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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