You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
