her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
