wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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