better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
