Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
