mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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