worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She needs sedatives and a leash
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
