The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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