Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
