I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
