yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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