areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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