someone get that fucking seahorse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
