thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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