i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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