hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
