They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize