he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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