areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize