Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
