No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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