just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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