I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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