i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
