You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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