exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
