i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
