Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
