Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
