I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
