Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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