Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
